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GRAVEYARD
The other side...?
Have you started feeling at home in Cartesio yet? The town has offered you every hospitality that its citizens could think of. They love every corner of this town and they want you to feel the same. Have you accepted Cartesio into your heart yet?
Then it should be comforting to wake in your hotel room. A ceiling you have gotten used to, the warmth of a blanket surrounding you, your own breathing... and silence. All-encompassing silence.
It perseveres when you leave your room, it perseveres when you leave the hotel... Cartesio is quiet because there is nobody in Cartesio who could be making noise. It's a ghost town.
There is only you now, you think. And then, just as you've given up, a noise comes to your ears. A voice, unmistakably. It's time to follow it.
As of Week 5 you may see random objects and buildings of any size flicker. For milli-seconds they seem to glow on and off, blur around the edges, even distort a little. It only happens for a moment at a time, but it happens fairly often.
Welcome to the Cartesio Graveyard. Your character has woken up in a version of the town that is devoid of citizens, but there do seem to be a few people around. Time to explore the mysteries of the other side. For a more thorough OOC guide, we have compiled an FAQ.
Then it should be comforting to wake in your hotel room. A ceiling you have gotten used to, the warmth of a blanket surrounding you, your own breathing... and silence. All-encompassing silence.
It perseveres when you leave your room, it perseveres when you leave the hotel... Cartesio is quiet because there is nobody in Cartesio who could be making noise. It's a ghost town.
There is only you now, you think. And then, just as you've given up, a noise comes to your ears. A voice, unmistakably. It's time to follow it.
As of Week 5 you may see random objects and buildings of any size flicker. For milli-seconds they seem to glow on and off, blur around the edges, even distort a little. It only happens for a moment at a time, but it happens fairly often.
Welcome to the Cartesio Graveyard. Your character has woken up in a version of the town that is devoid of citizens, but there do seem to be a few people around. Time to explore the mysteries of the other side. For a more thorough OOC guide, we have compiled an FAQ.
no subject
[ somehow, that elicits a reaction from oda that isn't apathy. his eyes widen, absolutely shocked that she would continue to defend him after he outed himself as a killer. what...what can he say now?
he looks away. he doesn't regret what he's done but...he's definitely feeling some guilt. ]
I- I'm sorry. You must be angry at me.
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No, that's not... I'm not angry, I'm just... I think I'm just sad.
[ Is that even better at this point? She takes a step towards him, as if physically closing the distance will make this conversation any less awkward. ]
My own life's... neither here not there, really... But you... Millium... I wanted you to live.
suicide tw
[ he takes a deep breath. ]
I'm dead, where I'm from. I killed myself. [ he's not sure what this is supposed to change. maybe it won't change anything at all in the first place. but it's nice to explain himself to someone, even if he doubts that he'll be understood. ]
I guess that's why it was so easy to make my choice.
suicide tw for the rest of the thread now i guess
There's a moment of silence. ]
Maybe we'd have minimized damage by just killing each other instead of dragging anyone else in... I tried, too, in my world and a long time ago. I just didn't manage to go through with it.
no subject
[ so why did he do it, not once, but twice? he killed olympia fully aware that it would, logically, be unnecessary. she would've died just a few hours later.
but he did so anyway, and now he's here. ]
But I have little left in my world...and I know Dazai can survive without me. I'm not necessary.
no subject
That strikes a chord within Cian. She'd tried to die once, to prove this. And then, surviving that, she had learned the truth of the statement in a much more personal way.
Impulsively, she grabs Oda's hands. ]
It's not important to be necessary. Living should be... it should be something done for yourself. I'm not really any good at it either, so this is a bit of the pot calling the kettle... but as long as you exist here, you should just forget about being useful.
no subject
[ he doesn't pull away when she holds his hands, but he doesn't hold them back either. right now he's more...shocked than anything else.
but after a moment, oda relaxes a little, giving cian a small, tired smile. ]
I feel like that'll be easier than done. But I'll try. [ he sighs ] Although I don't really know how.
no subject
[ They really seem to be far more similar than she'd ever assumed before. ]
What's something that you like? To do, to see, to eat...
no subject
[ he lowers his gaze, thinking about it. ]
I...like eating curry. And I like to read, too. Once, I even wanted to be a writer...but I don't think I'm capable of doing that anymore.
no subject
Why not? We have time here.
no subject
no subject
[ She is very very surprised by this. She'll let go of Oda's hands finally because this was getting a bit awkward and then continue. ]
My friend Miach really loved books. She loved them because they could be raw and hurtful, because they could kill... because they could do things that were basically forbidden in our world. She quoted some writer once like... "If a book doesn't stab you, why are you reading it?"
[ The writer is Franz Kafka but Cian does not recall. ]
So wouldn't people who have experience with painful things be able to write good books?
no subject
what she says...isn't wrong. he does love stories like that, although not as much as the more common tales. maybe it's because he's always wanted to lead a dull, boring life. one of those where he would never have had to know about the mafia or pick up a gun.
although a life of near perfection like cian's isn't something that he wants either. that extreme must be equally as miserable as it is in his own end. ]
I didn't think about that. [ of course. if he's so deep in his own self hatred, how the hell was he going to notice something like that? even now, it's hard to believe! ] Do you...think I can write something?
no subject
Absolutely. I would love to read your writing. I don't think I really understand, uhm, literature as art... Especially not with how hard it is to read old books in my world... but I imagine you'd be able to write characters that reach deeper than the superficial.
You've lived a harsh life, but you're kind after all.
no subject
now, he knows how wrong that sort of thinking was. ]
I might have been seeing everything wrong, then. And I can't promise that I'll be able to write a complete novel while I'm here or that it'll be good at all but-- [ he pauses, feeling like he's about to take a gigantic step in his life. it's a little nerve wracking, even if he doesn't show it ] --but I'll try my best.
no subject
I'll be so happy to read it!!
We do have books, but only very positive books. Everything from the past that is violent or too sad needs a special clearance to be accessed. There's nothing upsetting out there. So everything just reads a bit shallow. I don't read a lot because of that.
[ It just makes her sad to think how much her presumed-dead friend would have hated those stories. ]
no subject
[ a bit boring, he catches himself from saying. even if she calls it shallow, he's not sure how she must feel about that. and he doesn't want to be rude either.
so he'll choose another way to say it. ]
That sounds like something Dazai would hate.
no subject
He really would, wouldn't he? And rightfully so.
[ Then she adds in a quieter voice: ] I'd gotten really used to it myself, but it's nice being surrounded by people who see the flaws again.
no subject
[ oda blinks, surprised. cian’s place is starting to sound like some of the dystopia novels he’s read in the past... ]
renewing suicide cw, just in case
And the kids... Well, most of them are okay with it. Kids like Miach, Tuan or me, who want to die... They exist but they're a small minority. If you try to die, they put you through very heavy therapy and usually that's the end of it.
It was, for me, for the most part. If I hadn't gotten here, I'd probably have comfortably lived in that superficial world forever and I'd have been fine.
[ She pauses a little. ]
It's a better world than Cartesio for sure. Nobody has to die. Just...
[ She shuffles her feet on the floor a little, awkward. ]
I don't think I actually cared for anyone in it. Not... really. Not like here.